Dear Ms. Preis,
We are ecstatic to see the improvement in your nocturnal job duties. The night manager (Archie Preis) shared with us the good news that you slept from 10 pm – 7 am, uninterrupted. That type of behavior will take you far in the company!
Of course, there’s room for improvement when it comes to daytime napping, but we couldn’t be happier with what we saw last night. We’d say congrats are in order, and we will definitely note this milestone in your HR folder.
The Management (aka mom and dad)