Dear Ms. Preis,
We can no longer hold our tongue at your behavior over the past few days. The talk around the formula cooler (as we heard your peers prefers this over water) is that you are unhappy with the current menu being served in the on-site cafeteria. We would like to remind you that the kitchen staff works very hard on creating nutritious, delicious meals for the ENTIRE company. Sometimes that means everyone can’t be 100% happy. What that does NOT mean is throwing food on walls, on co-workers (Archie the Dog has made us aware of this problem), or on management.
If this continues to be a problem, we may have to take disciplinary measures, like contacting your grandparents.
Management (aka mom and dad)