Dear Preis employees,
We are happy to hear that you are taking full advantage of the company’s vacation and sick policies. Your trip to Arizona sounded amazing and we got a good report back from our satellite office (ie Nana and Papa’s house) — so thank you for fitting in some work on your break.
However we must remind you that you have only a limited amount of sick days. Picking up disgusting colds, viruses, ear infections, UTIs, etc is not the way to manage your health effectively. Management breaks down in sheer terror every time you sneeze, cough or rub your ears. Do your best to avoid harmful situations and always wash your hands. And as we’ve said before — DO NOT SPREAD GERMS AROUND THE OFFICE.
Management has a tough time fighting your infections since we must keep the company running — sick or not.
Thank you for your consideration. As a happy summer gift, enjoy the antibacterial gel we’ve left throughout the office and your cubicles.
Management (aka mom and dad)